From the album Never Look Back

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Ticking all the Boxes

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This was inspired by the book of the same name by Kelly carter which is about the trials and tribulations of a woman internet dating. The book is available from Amazon.

Lyrics

Ticking all the boxes

If guitar, capo on 2nd fret and play in C major.
NB Last 2 lines of each verse repeat.

Verse 1
D A F#m G
If you are a single girl don’t spend your life in waiting
D A G A
Go surfing on the internet and do some cyber dating
D A F#m G
There’s many men with GSOH WLTM a girl
D A G A
Some are looking for a soul-mate and some a social whirl
D A F#m G
Sally’s looking for a man to share her life and house
D A G A
And a whole new world will open up with a few clicks of her mouse
D Em F#m G
But not every bowl of apples will be full of scrumptious coxes
F#m Em A G
And she’s looking for that special one who’s ticking all the boxes.

Verse 2
What you wear is who you are but that hemline could be higher
You have to put enough on show to attract the buyer
Cleavage might be tempting, diaphanous enticing
But high-heeled boots and clinging top could be just as striking
So with just a hint of see-through and just a touch of arty
She knows she must be careful not to look too tarty
‘Cos the messages you send a man aren’t just emails nor in faxes
When you’re looking for that special one who’s ticking all the boxes.

Verse 3
Bernie is a bear his hugs can be quite hellish
Terry is a tiger he mauls her with much relish
Maurice is a mouse and Malcolm is a mole
Freddy is a ferret he dives down to her ...soul (probably pause before and after “soul”)
Derek is a deer, he likes to bed the does
Ryan is a Rhinoceros he has a big horn for a nose
Most men are mad as monkeys but some are sly as foxes
And she’s looking for that special one who’s ticking all the boxes.

Middle 8
Bm F#m G D
Some men are transparent and some put on disguises
Bm F#m G D
You can bet hard cash that in the flesh few men would win prizes
D Em F#m G
Those few are bronzed Athenian Gods, the rest look just like waxes
F#m Em A G
And she’s looking for that special one who’s ticking all the boxes.

Verse 4
Tommy seems to be the one who might row her boat
He’s tall and handsome full of charm...and randy as a goat
But he seems a bit reluctant his time he seems to ration
She knows he likes to exercise as sport is his passion
But it takes a while and a little guile that sport to discover
And it’s quite a shock when she finds out he is her best friend’s lover
But life is full of twists and turns there’s bound to be surprises
When you’re looking for that special one who’s ticking all the boxes.

Copyright Kevin O'Regan 2010